About this Article
This article helps to identify your stress triggers, understand the stress cycle and tips and tricks to managing stress.
We all intuitively know when we’re feeling stressed. Often, we even know why. A big test, a job interview, waiting to hear back from a recent date, budgeting, coming home to a messy house… all-too-familiar life experiences like these are known as “stressors.” How we feel in response to a stressor is stress.
Stress is often discussed as a response to danger, which makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. It’s a good thing our ancestors were able to see wild animals baring their fangs (stressor!), sense danger, and know to seek safety.
Even now, stress (eustress) can be helpful. The stressor of an upcoming test can be the reason you put so much effort into studying and acing it while a bit of nervousness can help keep you sharp for an interview or performance.
But of course, stress is not always helpful. And, untreated stress (distress) can impact mood and performance and even lead to anxiety or depression.
The way you perceive stress has a lot to do with how it's felt in your body! So while distress, or bad stress, is very common, you don’t have to accept it as a normal part of your everyday life.
While different stressors may require different management techniques, here are a few to try out next time you’re feeling stressed.
Let’s take our wild animal example one step further. Imagine hiking in the forest, and a bear approaches you, baring its teeth. Or you get a short text from your boss that says, “We need to talk.”.... You feel an intense spike of adrenaline, fear, and stress. You back away from the bear (or your desk) and manage to get back to your car safely and drive away. How would it feel to go right to lunch with friends? We’d venture to guess you couldn’t calmly sit and talk about your friend’s latest drama at work. Your heart may still be pounding and close to tears, and your brain is likely kicking into overdrive thinking through the what-ifs.
Before sitting down to lunch, you must complete the stress cycle. What allows you to complete your stress cycle may look different depending on whether it’s stemming from your best friend or partner. Testing out various techniques are an excellent way to complete the stress cycle and work on your mental fitness:
Sometimes, there’s something incredibly liberating about simply saying out loud, “I am feeling stressed.” Consider having a conversation with yourself (examples: in your head, in the mirror, or writing it out on a piece of paper) to try to get to the root cause of your stress.
This may look like: I am feeling stressed. Why am I feeling stressed? Well, I have that work project due at the end of this week. Ah, do you still have lots of work to do? Yup! That’s probably why you’re feeling stressed! I guess so. Why don’t you take a yoga class? I couldn’t possibly take an hour out of my workday for yoga! OK, can you set a timer for 5 minutes and stretch? OK…
Sometimes, even the most apparent stressors get lost in the fog of the stress itself. Talking yourself through where your stress is coming from—and figuring out a realistic way to complete the stress cycle—is a quick way to come up with a game plan to overcome your stress.
Stress is not something you have to accept or deal with alone. If you're feeling stressed about a massive project at work, is there someone you can delegate tasks to? Are there clarifying questions you can ask a colleague? If it feels like you don't have what you need to succeed, can you be honest with your boss about their expectations or the deadline?
Maybe for this specific project, the answer is no to all of these suggestions. In that case, try calling a family member to vent. Meet a friend for coffee to discuss the project's challenges. Sometimes, being acknowledged and validated gives us the final push we need to complete the stress cycle and settle back into our work.
“Adequate amounts of social support are associated with increases in levels of a hormone called oxytocin, which functions to decrease anxiety levels and stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system calming down responses. “ (Source)
Often, the last thing you feel entitled to when you’re feeling stressed is taking a break. But remember, you don’t need anyone else’s permission to switch off, even if only for a few minutes—and especially when you really need to. It feels counterintuitive to take a break when you have a lot on your plate, but often, it’s that recharge that gets your head back in the game to complete your to-do list with gusto. Your brain physically needs these breaks, just like your body, to perform at its best.
Think of your breaks in three categories:
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to make one choice over the other.” - William James
What is ONE way that you could choose to complete the stress cycle next time you are dealing with a stressful situation?
With Heart,
The MYNDY Team
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